Over the last few weeks I have received messages from followers asking how I find time to work in the margins of motherhood, balance a business and being a mom of young kids (I have a 6, 4, and 10 month old), and find time to create.

These are such good questions and to be honest, I feel a bit un-equipped to answer because these are questions I am still asking myself and certainly far from feeling like I have a handle on it. I wish I could sit and have coffee to dialog about this with you. It deserves a conversation and this blog post is merely sharing some of my experience. It is not exhaustive and only part of the journey. My focus is less on balance (is that really even possible?) and more on what needs my attention for each day, how to make decisions in order to be present with what is in front of me, and openness to an ongoing conversation and assessment of what is working and what is not. I don't have endless capacity and setting rhythms is essential for me and our family. I have spent seasons fighting limitations and burning out and this continues to be a journey of humility as I seek to embrace the reality of my human limitations. I cannot multitask well and presence is important to me, so one of the main things that has been helpful is designating specific time for business/creating. This helps me to be present when I am with my kids and then present when I am focused on my business (this does not always play out perfectly, but this is the goal).

 Let me just say also, this business, motherhood, and creative life takes a team. This is not just me, it is a support network. Practically, the majority of my days are spent home with my kids (we homeschool our older 2). Monday through Thursday I am with our kids and try not to plan any major business deadlines into that space. It is a huge gift that the flexibility of my husband’s job allows him to be home with the kids on Fridays. Fridays have become the primary time I create and work on business things. Outside of that I may have a few hours here and there throughout the week (Naptime/rest time, an evening, childcare). We have family not too far from us and it is also a huge gift and help when I have big business projects to get done and our kids can enjoy time away with family.

 But again, I am human and we continually re-assess what we need to say no to and what we say yes to. One of the great challenges has continued to be limiting what I take on so that I am not so overwhelmed with tasks to complete that I am filling up all of the margins of my week.  As a family we have been learning the value of living life slower and how much a fast pace of life seems to keep us from living present to each other and others.  In the words of John Mark Comer, "hurry and love cannot co-exist."  That has been challenging because with a business that I am running from home online, it is hard to know when and where to set the limits and how much is too much.  I am continually seeking to establish rhythms that are not only manageable but hopefully life giving for me and my family but I am definitely still failing at times and learning through it all. 

 Finding time to create has been a huge journey for me and has become increasingly important to set daily/weekly rhythms to create. It honestly has only been within the past couple years that I have really given myself permission to be intentional about making time to create. Honoring my creative process by validating that I am wired to create and making the space for it, has been truly life giving for me and my family. I denied creating for a long time. It was always the very last thing to get my attention and I felt selfish for taking time for it. It has really been such a process of slowly believing it is a gift from God and that it is valuable just as mothering is. Sometimes it literally takes on the form of giving 5 minutes today to paint, or sometimes getting up at 5am to have extra time to create before the kids are up. I know that it may be a long time before I have unlimited time to invest in creating but I think just giving it a space even if it is little honors the the gift I was given.

I spent a long time not doing anything because my plans for doing something felt too big or unreachable so I just did nothing. I have realized that this was often a result of giving into the fear of failure or of not being able to do something fully or perfectly. Choosing to resist being paralyzed by these feelings has allowed me to see that it is better to do something small or imperfectly than to do nothing at all. Embracing baby steps and focusing only on the one next thing mentality has proved super helpful.

It is a clunky journey, beautiful and hard, and continually evolving.